did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Randomize
