So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Randomize
