Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
