i always forget guys have bellybuttons
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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