I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
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