i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
Randomize
