So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
