Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
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