the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
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