Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Randomize
