And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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