Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
