Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
