what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
we're making bets on your personal life
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
