You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
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