is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
