Is it normal to miss your booty call?
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Randomize
