when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
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