The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
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