i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
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