STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
