I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
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