From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Randomize
