you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Randomize
