We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
