He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Randomize
