i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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