I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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