I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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