you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
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