i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Randomize
