She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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