i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
I love you. Go after that dick
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
