FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Randomize
