Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Randomize
