I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
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