I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Randomize
