so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
We had to coat check the pizza.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
