4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
Randomize
