Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Randomize
