Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
