I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Randomize
