Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Randomize
