and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
