Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
