I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
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