Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Randomize
