Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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