I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Randomize
