Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
Randomize
