I must be too annoying 4 u.
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Randomize
